In our daily interactions, it's natural to come across situations that may raise concerns or prompt us to wish to offer advice to others - sometimes even when they don't ask for it. When we do decide to offer that unsolicited advice, it's important to approach these moments with love and empathy rather than judgment. The Bible offers guidance on this subject, highlighting the significance of expressing care without condemning others.
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Matthew 7:1-2 (NIV)
This scripture emphasizes the principle of refraining from judgment. Instead, it encourages us to approach others with the same love and compassion that we desire for ourselves.
When we feel the need to address concerns with others, it's crucial to do so with love and a spirit of understanding. Here are a few tips to bring up concerns in a way that shows love and support rather than judgment or condemnation:
First, it is important to choose the right time and place. Approach the individual in a private and comfortable setting. Timing is crucial, ensuring that the person is receptive to the conversation.
Then, listen. Before offering advice or concerns, listen to the other person's perspective. This shows respect and understanding, allowing for a more open and honest dialogue.
Offer words of encouragement and support. Let the person know that your concern comes from a place of care and a desire to help, not an intent to criticize or condemn.
Make sure to show empathy. Put yourself in their shoes. Understand their situation, emotions, and challenges. Is there something going on in the person's life that might warrant a little bit of extra kindness or handling with “kid gloves” as the expression goes? Empathy helps to communicate concerns in a non-threatening and supportive manner.
Finally, be light-hearted. Using humor can help ease tension and create a more relaxed atmosphere. For example, share a funny story related to the concern at hand. Suppose someone constantly forgets their keys; you might humorously recall a time when you did the same, turning it into a lighthearted and empathetic moment rather than a rebuke.
Remember, expressing concerns in a spirit of love and understanding can greatly impact the way it's received and can strengthen relationships rather than repel them. When given the choice, people generally do not prefer to spend time with those who are overly critical and judgemental.
Expressing care without judgment aligns with the teachings of Christ, promoting unity, understanding, and compassion. It is important to remember “So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” - Romans 2:3-4 (NIV)
Again, judgment and harsh criticism does not demonstrate the love of Jesus; it is the loving kindness demonstrated in a loving word, and a gentle and caring conversation that makes someone self reflect, which ultimately can lead to change.
If we are the ones offering advice or feedback, it's also important for us to take a moment for self-reflection to determine whether we are voicing our concerns out of genuine love and care or if there are other underlying motivations at play.
